So school is out now and I am writing to you because I want to make tonnes of money before I go back in the fall. So what do I do to make tonnes of money?

Yours truly,

Broke Student

Dear Broke:

Oh, you darling thing!  It is such a wonderful treat to hear from someone who is  ambitious and wants to work. You are young and energetic, and that is a big advantage in an island community like ours, where there are so many old-timers who need help mowing lawns, weeding the gardens, cleaning the roofs and the gutters, washing the windows, scraping paint and putting a fresh coat on lawn furniture, and if you are handy, fixing the leaky faucet or straightening up that leaning garage door in the garage – all that stuff that is just getting to be too much for some elderlies.

So I hope you put up your shingle as an odd jobs body, and advertise in The Shingle, and get lots of replies! You will soon find out what people can afford, and if you have a sliding scale, you will be even more popular. As a matter of fact, with all of the baby boomers who are ageing, you might be able to create a life-time career for yourself.

However, there is a down side. Watch out for vampires. Might be a good idea to work in pairs, especially indoors. Those old guys look feeble, but you never know ….

Dear Gabby:

We have a large piece of property here, and every summer we have people in tents or fifth-wheelers who come along and set up somewhere out of sight of the house.  We have signs around, telling people to stay off our private property, but nobody pays attention to the signs.

These idiots just go ahead and then leave their messes behind for us to pick up.  It’s infuriating. It’s enough to get a gun for. Shoot a few rounds over their heads, and get them out of there. What do you think?

No long gun registry fan

Dear No:

Um, not a very good idea. Although I do remember walking down a road, early in my time here on the island, and seeing a sign with a drawing of a rifle on it, and the words, “Never mind the dog, beware of owner”. I did not walk down that road. Just saying …

Dear Gabby:

We have been hunting along the beaches here for Japanese tsunami flotsam and jetsam but have found nothing. Do you know of a beach where stuff is landing?

Aspiring Beach Comber

Dear Aspiring:

I might. But the tourists are out there now, scooping up the best stuff. Wait till fall when we have the place to ourselves again. Would you want to organise a Japanese Junk Jamboree then?

For obvious reasons The Flying Shingle tries never to disagree with our Dear Gabby, but unfortunately sometimes we do.